:: Koinange Street Carnival
12 April 2007

I had planned to attend Bunduz.com's Samburu trip and was all set to go. Until I got mail from Sande telling me there was going to be a street carnival at K-Street. There was no way a person who claims to be Nairobi Living would be at the end of the world when there is a Carnival at my own back yard. I have been to a couple of street carnivals before. I attended Noting Hill Carnival in 2001 and had such a ball. I had such a blast although I remember nearly losing some teeth to some extremely hostile dudes in dreadlocks, bad teeth and Jamaican accents. I was happy to leave the festival where I had such a ball in quite hurry.

And then I had attended this thing that Choices had done several years ago to counter Carnivore who had Chaka Demus and Pliers as their headline act. I remember attending this event as I was annoyed that Carnivore could dare charge me Kshs1,000 to watch the tired Chaka Demus and pliers duo and thus attended the cheaper Kshs500 street bash. When I went home I was just wishing that I had gone to Carnie as that night was quite forgettable.

The Koinange dancing was cool

So Koinange Street was having carnival this Easter. Koinange Street is famous for various reasons. The most famous of these is that Koinange is the place where dudes go and pick up their take away langas for an evening of "fun". What I am try to politically correctly trying to state is that Koinange is a famous for being a meeting joint for prostitutes and their johns. Phew. Now that wasn't so hard. The place spent some time in the news especially at the beginning arm of the NARC administration when the media and Kibaki were having a honeymoon period. Every TV station did a feature of the Kenyan prostitution scene and Koinange Street featured prominently in these stories. So what was initially urban legend that K-street was for takeaways was crystallized pretty much in many minds. Langas I’m told eventually moved from this hot location but many still think of it as malaya centre. The Kengeles branch on Koinange street, for instance is affectionately referred to by many as Kengeles malaya. And the Mad house as we know is still known to have a very high proportion of langas to non-langas.

Interestingly enough there are some serious businesses on this street. This is where the headquarters for Total Oil company happens to be. It is also the home of a Consolidated Bank branch (this is the one where they were try to steal part of the street sneaky buggers). This street is also the home of Housing Finance the forty year old mortgage lender that is run by big AIESEC fan Frank Ireri. It also hosts the Nairobi Safari Club (Lillian Towers) who have branded themselves as “Kenya's only all suite hotel” whatever that is supposed to be. DT Dobie the car seller of Mercedes and Nissan also has a major showroom on this street. Celtel Kenya also has a major service point on this street. There is also Chester house which is where all press conferences used to be held during the glorious second revolution. The street to be honest really has a lot to offer. And for me personally the Java that’s just off the street on Koinange Lane is really my favourite in their branch offerings.

There really isn't that much to say about the festival proper. Koinange Street all the way from Kenyatta Street was hived off using some seriously deadly looking barbed wire that reminded me of which I always see during those movies with the Jewish holocaust from world war two. It wasn't evil and diabolical like the Nazi barbed wire off course but I suppose it was probably the cheapest way of demarcating the street off from the rest of the city. Within, there was fun and much stuff. A bouncing castle for the kids that I would have loved to try out but decorum prevented me from... bugger it. There were several stands with food and drinks that were off course welcomed.

There were also several things happening around as the day progressed. A huge truck was carting around various dancing troupes. And there was a pretty cool parade of extremely hot models both dudes and dudettes. Especially this one dudette who had legs all the way to the sky and had on this short blue African outfit. Drool! The idea was to show that K-street was not just about Langas but models too perambulated up and down this street. I found myself with Bosire at Kengeles as we saw the various entertainers had to pass by here to give us a show of their stuff. There was also Nyengese those fellows that dress in women’s clothing and make us all laugh so. And the Zangalewa guys were there too. These are the guys that dress in "military like" clothing. They were born from that old song that aired on Music Time a life time ago. Who would have figured someone would have picked that 3 minute and make a living from it. Only in Kenya I guess.The VW beatle owners club was also in the house showing of their mots. A popular feature was the heavily muscled men who were flexing their pecks like they do in those body building competitions. What I wouldn't have given to see the female version of that muscle flexing. Whatever happened to equality?

Eventually I was watching Arsenal losing (again) at the fortress that is the Emirates and I was just not too happy. To be really honest that officially is the end of my season as far as the Gunners is concerned. Next season then. I hope they will have that Gotea Dimba competition where we are asked to call 0900 881 600 and get a chance to win a trip to watch matches to either Wembley or Athens. The truth is that if I won the competition I would just cash it in for the cash.

The stage was quite far down by the city market and there were several performances on the night. I only saw one that looked like it was a Nyadundo. I can’t be sure but he had that weird hat one of the Nyadundo wears. I don't think it was Tony as he looked mighty slim.

The event really kicked and I hope that now that it has happened, big sponsors support it in a big way next year. It was a small compact crowd but boy did we have a blast! I will be here next year. As the man said, "tuko humu humu tu, kwani tunaenda wapi?

>> Related Links
:: Koinange Street Festival official website

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