:: Definitions

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & an idiot at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference/Seminar : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power...

8. Classic: A book which, people praise but do not read.

9. Divorce: Future tense of marriage

10. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

11. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

12. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

13. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

14. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

15. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

16. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

17. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

18. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

19. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

20. Pessimist: - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .

21. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

22. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

23. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. (In my case the Boss is always late............Always)

24. Computer engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails......?


Submitted by Maik of Kenyan Expressions.

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