:: Easter ‘08: Strip clubbing, wedding dresses, Chelsea
26 March 2008

It was just a bittersweet Easter holiday. The Thursday was quite cool. I had spent quite bit of time with Gerry and Gits at Wasanii... A highlight was meeting Nairobi Club's Minabo who is a very crazy dancer and can kick over his head which is pretty freaky if you consider how big the fellow is. And Sophie Ikenye, she of NTV news, who I am groupie of. And the Gerald Masila the mdosi of KWAL. Clearly having the name Gerald promises a great career in the alcohol business. And there was Tabu Osusa who said hi. Nice man. And at the same table sat singer Iddi Achieng who really really rocks. In fact she rocks even more than Eddie Van Halen if I say so myself. We stayed so late that eventually we were being given some pretty unfriendly looks by Wasanii staffers who truth be told needed to go home and we eventually left after 2am.

This man didn't help my weekend!

Eventually we end up at Pub Barrels which turns out to be strip club /beach party which is never a bad thing as far I am concerned. There is a TV above our table. And at the wall at the far end of the place the same stuff on the TV above us was playing. Wrestling. They were screening Unforgiven 2004 and it was a pleasure seeing the likes of Triple H, Sean Michaels and Chris Benoit (yup this was before the poor fellow kicked the bucket last year) kick each others heads in. The girls were shedding their clothes like they had a serious allergy and people proffering notes seem to make the allergy worse. They seem to be racing to see who would take off their clothes fastest as punters “made it rain.” Yup. Nairobi has changed forever. I am eventually leaving the place at 4:30am. There was no way I could head home if you consider that I was due to be a guest on the Big Breakfast with Caroline Mutoko and the new guy.

Before heading to Kiss I had a Bakers pie at Ambassador (Mbuzi Pie at Kshs55). I arrived just a few minutes after 6am only to realise that someone on the mathree there had boosted my cellphone and I was suddenly lost. The reason I was there so early (I was due at 9am) was that it was either I get there that time in my inebriated state or go home and miss the show altogether. I opted for the former. We eventually do the show with Smitta. We were there talking about our Wedding Dress bet and as left we were both a bit frightened. This bet was started in Hooters bar several months ago by two drunken football fans and somehow now everyone we knew was following the premiership in anticipation for who would be wearing said dress. Now Caroline Mutoko had taken over the hardest part of the whole process with her electing to source that dress. I headed home and took some deserved rest.

Friday evening was weird. No where seemed to be happening yet the evening had promised so much. Ghetto radio was supposed to be having a bash but I couldn't call and find out having no phone. Their gate was securely locked. Project Heshima over at Dass restaurant in Westlands was taking forever to start and by the time I left and got back all the poets had finished their recitals. At least I got to see the crew from K24 as they tried to get the poets do their poems again for their cameras. It wasn’t gonna happen. Eventually I found myself at Binya's Easter party. Everyone was here. Judy Kibinge was there. Julie Masiga and her two hot pals were there. Prof Wambui who is currently working on Generation Kenya (it’s a really great project and y’all should check it out) was there. Potash was there. Kopesky was there. Chiquita was there although seeing as this was her bro’s bash that was not too hard to explain. Angela the new mdosi of Kwani was there. Dickson Migiro recently having left Adam (that’s the “magazine for men” that should just be rebranded as Madam and leave us poor dudes out of their alleged target market) was there. Mugo Kibati famous as big kahuna over at East African cables was there in black T-shirt and leather jacket. And interesting look for the young CEO if you consider I always see him in the papers and on TV with that tie and suit. I had way too much to drink and found myself being bundled into a taxi and off home. It really was not my best work.

On the Saturday, I opted to recover from the damage already done to my liver and reputation (assuming that I had any left). TV watching was on the top of my agenda. There wasn't too much on. KTN were screening a rerun of a Rob Schneider flick where a woman takes over his body and she has to go through being a man for the first time. Funny I guess but a rerun nonetheless. NTV had a Bruce Willis movie with Sarah Jessica Parker that forko jembe from sex and the City (see, I don't detest that show one bit...). I never get to know what it’s called but they seem to be either cops or lifeguards or something. Citizen was having some fighting movie with a grandfather teaching his grandson to fight and they had what I reckon was the longest martial arts kata seen on TV ever. That was weird! KBC I'm not too sure about as I was glued to the CNBC Africa Jay Leno weekend. That was really good stuff watching Jay Leno cracking jokes with his guests (Wanda Sykes was a personal favourite yawa!).

By Sunday I figured that my body had recovered enough to venture out of my diggs and head into the world. After all I had lost so far were a cellphone and whatever was left of my reputation. How much more could I lose surely? I was hoping that watching Arsenal play Chelsea at Stamford Bridge would afford my broken body and soul some reprieve. Y'all saw the game. I watched as first we went ahead with a goal from the most unlikely of sources: right back Bacary Sagna. Ecstasy! Joy! I was in seventh heaven. But then Didier Doggy bag was still on the pitch and he eventually made his presence felt. Two goals in eight minutes that probably saw the end of our title challenge. It was scary that. And there was Smitta having just flown in from Malindi (now I know why he missed Binya’s party) celebrating his teams amazing feat. It was not a happy moment for yours truly.

Monday was spent thinking about my life and what I planned to do for the rest of my sad meaningless existence that you do when you as still hangover and you are likely to face likely humiliation very very soon.

So how was Easter? Half in half. At least I didn't spend it in jail eh?

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