:: Why did the chicken cross the road circa 2007?

"Huyo kuku alikuwa anarega rega tu. Hakuona ile mapato serikali yangu imeleeta haapa Kenya. Yeye ni mavi ya kuku kabisa! Na kutoka leo pande hiyo ingine ya barabara itakuwa district..."
Mwai Kibaki

If the chicken doesn't do it, who will?
Dettol

"Nitoboe? Nitoboe?? Nitoboe??? Goldenberg ilizaa Angloleasing, Angloleasing ilizaa mamluki, mamluki ilizaa mungiki, Mungiki ilizaa chincokororo, Chinkororo nayo Ikazaa Kuku. Ndiyo sasa kuku akavuka… kweli rongo?”
Raila Odinga

I have instituted a court injunction preventing the chicken from crossing the road until we can assertain who is the owner of the eggs it laid.
Jimmi Kamangu

“Why are you asking me that question? You know you media people can twist anything I say. Maybe the chicken was going drink changaa, what do I know or care about it anyway?””
Samuel Kivuitu,
Electoral Commission of Kenya (ECK) chairman

“Do not imagine that pleasure and blessedness inheres in having to do with dangerous, unholy things. In fact, the chicken was only following his innate base need to explore his environment to the best of his chicken brain. In fact, the chicken was well aware that early corn is best, so the firstborn is the one to delight in and being a first amongst equals in his coop, he had no choice. He had to cross the road and explore the new world and partake of the said corn. Now that is what is called a soul searching for ultimate fulfilment, a stomach searching for the supreme filling a mind seeking definitive answers to questions only a chicken can answer. We can never know why the chicken crossed this chicken crossed the road. But we can infer that it was ultimately curious with the world beyond its nominal sphere of influence.”
PLO Lumumba
Lawyer, Orator per excellence.

“The chicken is a symbol of KANU. The chicken has now has crossed over to PNU to support Kibaki…”
Daniel Toroitich
Retired President, Kenya

"I want to address the question about that chicken from that reporter. First of the government of Mwai Kibaki has not; I repeat has not given any restrictions to chickens. In fact this is the first government since independence that has give freedom to chickens to cross any roads at will. In fact, with the free primary education the chicken may just have been crossing with its chicks to take them to the local primary school. And soon those chicks will be able to go to secondary school for free and thus will have to cross more roads. Or the chicken may have heard that all maternity cases are free and was going over to hatch her eggs. So the allegation that the government is failing to give opportunities for chickens to cross the road couldn't be further from the truth."
Dr. Alfred Mutua
Government spokesman

"Mimi ninashida zangu nisikie shida za kuku kwanini?"
DNA,
Rapper

"Yes. I heard that this incident happened and photos were taken. All I ask is that you please stop forwarding those photos to your mailing list. Just delete said photos from your email as it is really embarrassing for the chicken."
Kaz Lucas
Singer

"The chickenski crossed the road to drink vodoski"
Smitta Smitten,
Newspaper columnist

"Because I busted him!"
Ciku,
Radio presenter

"Hiyo kuku sijui munasema ati imesoma. Kazi yake ni kupiga mandombolo kwa barabara tu"
Kalembe Ndile,
Party Leader

"Just like I told you Kibaki alipita pande moja, Raila alipita pande ingine na Kalonzo akapita katikati na kuku. Wapi steadman?"
Kalonzo Musyoka

"Oyooooooo! Oyooooooo! Chikororo muko tayari? Haya basi. Huyo kuku asijaribu kuja hapa Kisii. Ataoana nani mwanaume. Tutakanyagana..."
Simeon Nyachae
Politician

"The chicken represents the imperialists (Bush and Blair) while the road represents Zimbabwe. Thus the chicken crossing the road represents the imperialists trampling on Zimbabwe's rights"
Robert Mugabe
President, Zimbabwe

"Did it cross? Did it at least take a shower afterwards?"
Jacob Zuma
Leader, African National Congress, South Africa

He must not know about me, I can have another chicken in a minute/matter of fact it'll be here in a minute"
Beyonce Knowles

“Domo, domo, Kuku kuvuka domo/Domo, domo pande ingine domo/ Domo, domo, Kazi Inedelee/Cluck cluck, blah blah blah!”
PNU Campaign Advert

"Serikali ya Raila Odinga itawapa kuku wote nafasi ya kuvuka barabara zote inazotaka kuvuka. Vote for real change. Vote for Raila Odinga. Chungwa moja, Maisha bora."
ODM campaign Advert

"That is not a question"
Stanley Livondo,
Former parliamentary Candidate, Langata Constituency

"The chicken had to come over and chill in my huge state of the art fridge which as you know is blinged out with some serious grills"
Prezzo

The chicken wasn't chicken enough
Headmaster,
Kariani High School , Meru

"Mi nalike chapaa, siyo kuku..."
Abass Kubaff

"Haiya? We missed one?"
Kenchic

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